That might be a quirky title but it will all make sense as you read this article on how to forgive
So bear with me and thank you for reading!
Just a couple days ago I had a client text me about how she feels ready to forgive her parents and yet at the same time, not sure if she was ready to forgive her parents
And I told her to take her time to be really sure
This is because only when the unconscious mind is settled and ready to forgive, will the hypnosis be effective
If we force forgiveness, then it will be false forgiveness
And the hurts from the people you pretended to forgive will still remain in you
Thus the issues are not fully resolved, and the hurts and pains remain
Now she was attempting to wrap her mind around this so I decided to share about some case studies where the forgiveness was forced, and thus it was false
I had two such clients where they forced themselves to do the forgiveness and the following occurred
For the record, I will check and make sure they are aware and ready, but sometimes people just think they are ready, or they force themselves into the hypnosis without being sure
So happened that these two are guys, and halfway through the hypnosis, they ask me similar questions
“Can I punch my dad?”
“Why do you want to punch him under hypnosis?”
“I think if I punch him I can relieve my anger and hatred towards him”
And so they punch or beat up their dad under hypnosis because to them, that’s how they will forgive him
They didn’t forgive in the end
So the hurts and pains remained
I shared about forgiveness and how its a release, but perhaps they didn’t accept what I shared previously in the chat, or perhaps they read online about how you need to express your anger by beating or hitting something
This… I don’t agree with…
Another lady also forced herself to forgive her mother in law, and true enough, she still had anger towards her mother in law
These 3 clients will need another session if whatever they have left is too much for them, or when they want to forgive truly
Partly also cause they can see some of the other changes they experienced
So what gives?
First of all, we need to understand and differentiate each emotion separately
Hate does not equal to anger!
They are not linked in any way
Hate is the opposite of love
So if love is extreme liking of something or someone, hate is extreme disliking of something or someone
Thereby comes in the vegetable
Cause I don’t like vegetables HAHAHAH
Although yea, I have learnt to eat and can eat vegetables
There are some vegetables that I still don’t like
I especially hate slimy types of vegetables, like lady’s finger or brinjal
I also don’t like peas, beans, and corn
Now let’s look at this
I can hate vegetables but do I get angry at them?
No!
Although I agree I feel disgusted at lady’s finger or brinjal and maybe beans too
But peas and corn I’m more of put it aside
I hate the feeling of these particular food items
And yet, it’s not like I’m angry at them right?
It’s the same across the board
Let’s say you had an abusive father, totally unreasonable and opinionated
Yes, you can hate him because of his character or qualities or attributes
And yes, whatever he did onto you can create anger, fear, etc as well
The interesting thing about our emotions, is that each negative emotion has a positive intention for us
Anger is for defense and power, to protect ourselves from something
Fear is for danger and safety, to avoid or run away from something
Sadness is to deal with loss and grief, to release the hurt from losing something
Just to share some examples with you
Now, you can hate your abusive dad for who he is, and you can feel fear or anger because of what he has done unto you
Those are 2 separate things
You must realize this if you want to take a step towards healing yourself
Just like I can hate brinjal because it is a vegetable, and I feel disgust with how it feels in my mouth
Totally separate
This is the biggest realization
Because for healing to occur, it usually revolves around forgiveness
You see, forgiveness has nothing to do with love or hate, grudge or blame
My definition of forgiveness is to release all the past hurts, pains, guilts, and any learnt negative behaviors or patterns that that person has put onto you, intentionally or unintentionally
That to me is true forgiveness
Now the key is to release what was done or put onto you
This is interesting because it’s separate from like or dislike
Which is why you can love someone and still be unable to forgive them!
Or you can hate someone and be able to forgive them
Forgiveness has nothing to do with grudge nor blame either
Blaming someone for example, is a shifting of responsibility – which suggest you don’t need to take any action
Whereas to forgive someone is an action in itself, to release and be free~
As I shared this with the lady client, she understood where I’m coming from now
She could feel her heart lighten a bit just by grasping this concept
Which is great!
Of course, I told her to take her time for her unconscious mind to settle before we schedule the hypnosis
Now you must also remember that conscious is logic, while unconscious is emotion
Hence, when we want to resolve emotional issues, we have to tap into the unconscious mind
And the way I do it is via hypnosis
And at the same time, ensuring the unconscious mind is ready also allows for a more effective hypnosis session
You might be surprised to hear from me that there isn’t much consciously you need to do to allow your unconscious mind to be ready
This is because hypnosis cannot be forced, the client can resist hypnosis if they don’t want to resolve the issue
Although there are some isolated cases where consciously, they need to do something to help themselves to re-connect with their unconscious mind or show proof they want to change and heal
But that’s probably a story for another time
Just to recap
Forgiveness has nothing to do with love nor hate
Forgiveness is about releasing the stuff whoever put onto you, intentionally or unintentionally
Hate and anger (or any other negative emotion for that factor) are separate and not linked
If you identify an issue you want to resolve, you can consider hypnosis if the issue stems from the unconscious mind (most of the time)
The best part, consciously you don’t need to do much!
So no need to meditate, fast, pray or whatever XD
Once you identify the issues and want to resolve it, take the first step
To contact and reach out
Whoever you want to seek help from is your choice, as long as you feel comfortable with that person
Til then, take care! 😀
