“Everybody Lies” is a quote made famous by Dr Gregory House in the medical drama series called House M.D.
Well there is a longer version to the quote but throughout the show, he usually will just say these two words
So the questions are… does everybody lie?
And how often do they lie?
After all, isn’t lying bad?
Fun fact: Lying by itself isn’t necessarily bad… it is the intention behind it that is more important
Think about it, if your partner ask you something and you decide to lie to them to protect their feelings, is that good or bad?
“Honey how does this dress look on me?”
“Dear, do you think I’m the best?”
Imagine hearing a reply, “No that dress makes you look fat”
Or even, “No I think you are a terrible gamer”
Maybe even , “Actually you are terrible in bed”
Waa cry T_T
So yea, sometimes lying in trace amounts is considered reasonable
You have to sort of lie if you want to throw a surprise birthday party right?
Essentially, lying can be seen as a way to build relationships, as funny as it sounds
Unless the original intent was malicious and just want to take advantage of someone
Don’t believe me?
Although it may be possible most of the research statistics is of Americans, we can generalize it to the rest of the world too
One finding that might startle you, is that at 2 years old, children can already start to lie
Why? How? What?
Obviously children wouldn’t be able to lie with malicious intent right?
Children generally lie to get out of trouble, for their own protection, or maybe just for fun
If they told the truth that they took the cookie, they know they will get punished
And who wants to be punished?
So they lie
In fact, it was found that 14% of lies told by adults are for self-protection
Then of course, some lie to appear in a much better light, about 13%
Maybe it is for a relationship, to lie and get that person attracted to you
Or perhaps it happened at the job interview so you can get that job
You can also look at 30 statistics and facts about lying here
Regardless, it does seem that most people lie thus far
And that there are times where it is reasonable to lie
Now I don’t know about you cause I realize something when I read those stats
The lies they recorded?
Are lies told to other people
Which makes sense
But here’s the thing
What about the lies we tell ourselves?
That leads to a bigger question
Are we being honest with ourselves?
More often than not, the answer is no
In fact, we might not even know when we are lying to ourselves
Maybe because it comes more naturally, or perhaps it is because it does make us feel better
For example, you might had a shitty day at work and as you reach home you decide to tell yourself, “Everything is ok, tomorrow will be a better day”
That to me is a lie
You have no idea whether it will be a better day or not
And depending on what made today shitty in the first place, if the problem persists then tomorrow will still have the problem
Although this seems like a negative way to view the world, I see it different
Rather, we need to look at the real problem (such as what made the day shitty) and then resolve it if it can be resolved
And if it cannot be resolved by your hands, get someone to assist or resolve it
But if its just because your boss had a bad mood and that mess up the entire company, and yes you cannot resolve your boss’s problems
Then having the understanding that it is your boss’s problems to bear and because he/she doesn’t know how to, they can only project their negativity to the people around them
So it is not so much that “tomorrow will be better”, but rather hopefully boss will resolve his issue or have a better mood tomorrow
Another common lie we tell ourselves to make us feel better is that we are right, smart or doing well
When perhaps we are not
We might not want to admit our own mistakes or wrongdoings and this causes us to lie to ourselves
Which is worse?
The lies we tell others or the lies we tell ourselves?
Of course, if we have malicious intent when we tell a lie to others then that is really bad
Like accusing a random person for stealing your money when there was no such incident
What is next on the list for a “bad lie” to me, are the lies we tell ourselves
This is because this tends to create more issues in the future, or at its minimum, prevent issues from being resolved and thus allow it to grow and festor in the background
The lies we tell ourselves generally offer almost no help
Yea… the “fake it til you make it” doesn’t work that way…
You can’t fake it (lie) and expect it to become truth – that’s just a delusion
To me, I think it is ok to say a white lie sometimes, but the worse thing is to lie to oneself
Probably one of the most important things is to be honest with yourself
Whether it be what you want in a relationship, or what kind of values you are searching for in a job
Or just about your day, mental state and emotions
Being authentic might be one of the best moves you can make for yourself
And this topic continues in this article here
Hope this helps 🙂