Words Have Power

And it’s true, words have power over us

But, what does it mean?

You see, whatever we say to ourselves can shape our perception, and this shapes our reality

I go into more detail here

In fact, what we say to others, whether good or bad, can do so as well

And where do we see this?

When we are a child, what our parents say to each other or to us, can form a belief, value or perception

Le me share 2 of my client case studies that illustrate this

The first client, let’s call her Amanda

Amanda had recurring nightmares of her lover sleeping with another woman

And we did a regression to find the source of when as well as how this got started

Was in insecurity? Low self esteem or confidence?

She went back to the age of 6, where she is now in front of her mum

And her mum said this, “You look like a prostitute

And Amanda was crying

So what happened was when she got told she looks like a prostitute, her unconscious created a program or a belief believing she was a prostitute

And that led to her recurring nightmares of her lover finding another woman to sleep with

Because men who go to prostitutes, can find other prostitutes too

That was the source of her recurring nightmares

And what haunted her until she came to see me at age 55

The other case is also a girl, let’s call her Belinda

Belinda is in her early 20s and felt useless and stupid

She also feels like she needs to suffer

One thing she shared with me was that she was adopted and only knew when she turned 21

We did a regression to find the source of her issues and she was now 5 years old

Crying

I asked her why is she crying, and her reply was that her parents were arguing in front of her

I was curious and asked if she could hear what they were arguing about

She couldn’t at first and needed to concentrate

And she cried even more!

I calmed her down and asked what was it she heard?

“My parents are arguing about me, they are saying why did they adopt such a useless and stupid girl? And after they adopted me, they lost all their finances so they think I bring bad luck…”

Belinda

Now we can see clearly why Belinda has such thinking about herself like “useless and stupid” and that she “has to suffer”

Firstly, Belinda as a baby might have a question in her mind whether her birth parents love her or not, and now, she also knows her adopted parents do not love her!

This made her think she “has to suffer” because she is unloved

Next is because of what the adopted parents said in anger about her

It is with little wonder why and how she developed her issues

With these 2 of my clients’ case studies, you can see how our words can affect the lives and minds of our children in the future

Our words can shape our perceptions, beliefs and values, and these will shape our reality

But McKing, this is only with kids right?

Surprisingly no

Words have such a power within us that throughout our lives, from childhood, into adulthood, and even into old age

Will we continue to see an effect it has on us

What we think of the world and ourselves

And what we say to others

Let me share another case study of mine, let’s call her Clarissa

Presentation client chat

Clarissa had the unfortunate experience of being sexually abused by her father, as well as by her uncle

This formed the perception in her mind that all men just want to have sex

She got into many relationships and even though she doesn’t like sex, her boyfriends will ask and try to persuade her into it

And she will reluctantly do it with them

Why?

Her thinking was, she already lost her virginity as a child, and have been used by men for sexual purposes, hence, she doesn’t see any worth in her body any more

This is one example of how our own thinking can affect us, and how we treat ourselves, for better or worse

And what about old age?

Our parents take care of us when we are a child, and we experience a role reversal when we grow up and take care of them in their aging years

Which is somewhat ideal I suppose

As some people have the option to put their elderly in homes and stuff

Generally, the conversations we have with the elderly can make or break them

For example, if you were to tell your parents or grandparents that they are old and will likely fall, they will believe you and their bodies will start to weaken and they will fall

Let’s hear about this case study, about a guy called David

David grew up in an angry home

So it is to no surprise that he lost his temper easily

His parents grew old and stayed with him, which is typical in a Singaporean family

However, David threw his temper towards his parents, who cannot argue back as much because they were much older in their years now

He would say stuff like he has to spend money to take care of them, they will fall sick easily and doctors’ fees are expensive etc

The subsequent hurt and pain they feel now, made them weaker in physical health

One day, David’s father fell and was admitted to the hospital where they found he had cancer and wouldn’t live long

That’s when David regret saying all those things, however, his pride wouldn’t allow him to apologise

His grief and regret after his father’s passing, led him to me

It may not be obvious to you, but it is to me

On how our words can affect the mental state and subsequently the physical health of the people around us

This can also be seen as a self fulfilling prophesy

I might write that as a longer article but for now, the short version is this

Whatever we say to ourselves and to others, can form a perception or belief, that shapes their reality

And that’s the short explanation of how a self fulfilling prophesy might come about

And why our words can be so powerful

Whether it has the right intention or not

So, to sum up, be mindful of what you say to yourself and to others

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