TLDR: Love bombing is bad because it’s a manipulation technique to entrap and ensnare the victim into being controlled and sometimes abuse
This is a continuation and expansion into toxic relationship patterns
Interestingly enough, it’s also World Mental Health Day 2025 and the theme is for everyone to have access to mental health care, where their mental health is valued and protected, especially when facing hardships and adversity
And we have to recognize that victims who are caught by narcissists, manipulators, and abusers are facing a huge challenge where their mental health is not only undervalued, but heavily abused and manipulated
Which is why I’m sharing about love bombing to help them recognize it and get out if possible
Now of course before you can do anything about it, you got to first learn what is love bombing all about
What are the signs and symptoms?
How to recognize it to prevent getting caught in the trap?
Why do manipulators use it?
And if they combine love bombing with DARVO, oh boy… the victim will be in quite some deep trouble…
DARVO is another manipulation strategy used by narcissists and abusers
So you can imagine if they do love bombing first to trap their victims, and then DARVO them to never leave
They will stay for a long time under their thumb
Anyway without further ado, let’s get into the meat proper
What are the signs and symptoms of love bombing?
We can classify a love bomber or love bombing as doing the following quickly, early on in the dating phase, or getting to know each other phase
Some might even throw such things in texts, prior to the first date
One might get tricked into thinking this is the honeymoon phase, the lovey dovey, but be warned because that’s how they trap you
All of these is to give you a high, make you feel so good, because then they seem to disappear or pull away, causing you to crave their attention that they used to give
- “I love you”
Straight off the bat the love bomber will throw how much they love you as fast as the first meeting, or even first text if it’s through a dating app, and even if it was said within three dates, it is still very early and too soon for love
- “Let’s get married”
Adding onto the above, they want to start a relationship super fast, and might even want to discuss marriage plans quickly too
- “Where are you? I need to see you”
The constant and excessive need for attention, and meetings expresses how much they “love” you, and at the same time, knowing your location to find you
- “I miss you so much”
Giving all sorts of reasons to constantly communicate even if it is via texts, might even want many video calls
- “I bought a gift for you”
There will be a lot of affection like kisses and intimacy straight off, a lot of gifts to give you that high, that joy, and it is all early in the dating phase
How will you feel after all this?
I mentioned above that you will feel so happy, so good, and it gives that high and makes you look forward to it, even crave it
That high can make you addicted to them, addicted to their gifts and attention, their “love”
It can make you depend on them too much, and can quite literally erode your independency
The love bomber is manipulating you to feel that he/she is the centre of your world, and you cannot exist without them (if they go that far and yes, some do)
However, you might also feel overwhelmed, especially when you constantly need to have texts, calls or even meetups with them which takes your time away from other things and people
That leads into the next step of love bombing manipulation, which is isolating you from other people, your friends and family, that you must depend on them
I had a client who went through such a state
The guy seem to love her so much, want to meet her, give her gifts and affection, made her fall head over heels and so on
And it made sense to spend more time with him, and being away from other people
Then the guy seems to turn abusive, can be verbal, can be psychological, or even physical
And they believe its just a phase, that the loving boyfriend will come back soon~
Yet it got worse and worse
In fact, I have a group of such clients who were in such situations
Some manage to break free and end the relationship, sought their healing through me
Others… not so much… especially if the love bomber is also a narcissist and cannot stand that their victim managed to get away, they will find ways to reinput themselves into their victims’ lives
So why do manipulators do love bombing?
To sum up, love bombing is when they shower excessive displays of love and affection early in the dating, and later, they will disconnect to make you crave for their attention again
So why do manipulators, narcissists, and even abusers, use love bombing?
For starters, it is a very quick and easy way to target and get people hooked
Especially if you haven’t experienced love in a while, and want a relationship and suddenly someone comes along and seem to love you so much?
Be they man or woman, and yourself man or woman too, and regardless of age as well
It is unfortunate, and that’s who they prey on
People who have scars and wounds and hurts
Or with low self-esteem, lack of confidence
That makes it so easy for them to target and manipulate
All that excessive love and attention that was initially given and then suddenly taken away creates a sudden lack
What makes someone potentially addicted to such affection and craving for it back
Whereas if one were to have stability in love and relationship values, then they might get the ick instead if someone suddenly appears and proclaim their undying love with flowers right?
And besides making someone hooked onto them, it also give them someone to control
To make the victim do anything for some love and affection again
To make them give anything, from money, to gifts, to buying the latest tech
And the isolation from their friends and family will make the victim become solely dependent on them
That’s also why manipulators, narcissists and abusers use love bombing as part of their manipulation strategy
Briefly mentioned earlier, is when they also employ DARVO to further trap the victim
Which can tear down the mental defenses and the identity of the victim
How to move on and protect oneself~
Now if you read the above, signs and symptoms, case studies etc and you cried cause you recognize you yourself or someone you love is a victim
Then they need to heal their wounds, their hurts, their scars, regarding love and relationship
Because when they heal their mental health, they will be strong, and confident, and stable, to be able to recognize when someone is bullshitting them
Any victim must first recognize the truth of what’s happening
To be fair, it ain’t going to be easy
Share this article with them, or other supporting articles too to help them become aware of the situation
Receiving help from friends and loved ones will further protect the victim, and going into therapy will begin a healing process
Continue to reach out, check on them, because you have no idea how deep the love bomber has set themselves into the victim’s mind
Worse case scenario, the victim will find the love bomber on their own
Restarting a negative pattern and cycle
And if you have never been a victim of a love bomb before, you can protect yourself a little better by learning and understanding the signs of a love bomber
Be cautious of someone who wants to jump into a relationship straight away before even dating!
Although ironically, I know that nowadays, there are a lot of relationships being started without properly dating
I cannot say they are love bombers, or perhaps they don’t know that they are unintentionally love bombing
However, this is also precisely why relationships are going out of whack
And why we need to further safeguard our mental health from such hurts and pains
So I hope this article can help or protect at least one person
You stay safe ok?
