To Stay Or Not To Stay

Just in case you are wondering, this is a blog about life

The following can be applied to quite a few areas of life, from relationships, to career, your own business and so on

So the question is: to stay or not to stay?

Now what do I mean? 

Naturally, when you get stuck in a situation, or get caught in a particular situation

You really have to consider whether you want to stay or not, don’t you?

But even if you have this question, what’s next?

How can you get out of this stuckness?

And that’s what I want to help you with today! 😀

Ok ok so the main thing about how to get out of such a tricky situation

In my honest opinion!!

Is a mismatch of values

Let me explain:

First up, what are values? 

Values are essentially what is important or valuable to you, especially in a particular area of life

So you have relationship values, and you have career values, and friendship values etc

Naturally, the same values might be the same across, but they could also be different

For example, if you value honesty in a relationship, while this might be the same in friendship, it might not be the same in career, where you value leadership more than honesty

Ok that might not be the best example *shrug*

Now the next thing is this

Because everyone of us is unique

This also means, our values will be different from person to person

And while this seems pretty straight forward

I thought to highlight it here

So in this case, an example might be a girl might value love in a relationship, while the guy might value personal space

Now if they both understand each other’s values in the relationship, everything will be great

But if they don’t, the guy might think the girl’s need to always be together as invasion of personal space, while the girl might think the guy keep pushing her away and don’t love her anymore

And this is the mismatch bit I mention earlier

If you are in a career, and your values about a career are different from your career’s values or your colleagues’ values, then things can be quite stressful ain’t it?

Ok maybe your career has its own values, like a company values

Or maybe it doesn’t, and then you just match your values to the career you are in

Or relationship, or friendship, or volunteer organisation or whatever

Anyway, now you know its stressful or you are feeling stuck because of a mismatch

The next big question is, how do you find out about your values?

Now even if you thought that you already know your values, it might be good to just do this still yea?

Ok so prepare a piece of paper and write this question at the top

“What is important to you about <blank>?” 

Where <blank> can be relationship, career, anything really

Now, the next thing to do is to write down what comes to mind

These are your values, and they should be around one or two words only, not a whole sentence

And if one of your answers has an “and”, please split them into 2 separate answers

Write at least 5 or more such answers

The more the merrier

Now you may be thinking this is it, but actually, it’s not

Once you got a few answers, look at the top one and you ask this question to yourself

“If I have nothing else but <number one value>, is that enough?”

So what will happen is that you will have a feeling, your intuition, your unconscious mind or whatever and it will tell you whether it is or it is not

If it is, then you found your topmost value in the <blank>

If it is not, then you did not find your topmost value in the <blank>

So basically, you will be able to stay in the <blank> if your topmost value is fulfilled yea?

But if you don’t know what is it, then how?

We got to find it!

So now you compare a value and the value directly below it, and ask this 

“Between this value A and this value B, which one is more important?”

Now this will help you reorder your list of values!

Cool isn’t it? 😀

Ok i will wait until you find the topmost and reorder at least top 3 of your values

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Ok! Hope you manage to do it quite well

And with your new found list of values, I hope you will be able to make the decision much better now! 😀

If you didn’t manage to get your topmost values, you can always check with me here

And remember that you can use this each time you get stuck in any aspect of life

Til then, share this with your bestest best friend!

Cheers! 😀