The Queer Construct Of Sleep Issues

Presentation Lee McKing and sleep issues

Now when people usually hear of sleep issues, most will think of insomnia

It’s an issue of falling asleep

However insomnia does broadly cover other sleep issues besides difficulty falling asleep

Such as poor sleep quality, unable to wake up or suddenly waking up in the middle of the night

And of course, there are some commonly known reasons for why insomnia occurs

Ranging from mental health issues like anxiety or depression, to stresses from work or even relationship

Of course, if you haven’t already guessed, I’ll be touching on some queer constructs

After all, you can easily Google what’s the normal issues that affect sleep

Well, I could probably share too but that’s not interesting enough is it? XD

In case you don’t know this, other than the usual problems that people come to me for, I do get some clients with rather interesting or peculiar requests

Sometimes, their requests is pretty normal, but how the problem is constructed in their mind is the fascinating bit!

Hence, this article today 😉

These are real actual stories, incredibly unique and maybe a bit weird look into how the mind works

So just sit back, relax and have a good read 😀

Presentation-Lee-McKing-and-depressed-girl

No Guy No Sleep

A lady came to me regarding insomnia and she felt that it was due to stress at work and stress with relationships

I shall not mention what she does, but work has been piling with datelines to meet!

With regards to relationships, she started having insomnia after her divorce and while it got better, it worsen again recently

Now, if you read some of my other articles (like this one) you will know that our minds runs in patterns or programs

And we need to know the triggers (if any) and how it works and all right?

So I asked when did it worsen, and she said about 2 months ago

Then I asked whether anything happened 2 months ish ago, whether its relationship, work, family etc

The only thing that came to mind was her then boyfriend broke up with her

Hold on let me get this straight!

You were married and had no sleep issues

Then you divorced and had insomnia

Did you have sleep issues when you got a boyfriend?

She replied no

When you broke up you had insomnia again?

Yes, she replied, is it because of the stress of the break up so I got insomnia?

Before I reply, I asked one more question

“When you were a child, who slept with you every night?”

It was her dad

WAIT AH

It’s not anything bad, sexual, rape or what ok

It’s rather normal for a parent, either parent, to be with the child so the child can sleep better

However, the unconscious mind of the child can form patterns based on what it perceives and how it processes the information

Meaning, her unconscious mind has created a sleep pattern as such

< I can only fall asleep when a man is with me >

Or something similar

Which is why she doesn’t have sleep issues when she was married or with her boyfriend (he obviously went to sleep with her la haha)

And why she have sleep issues when she divorced or when she had a break up

In fact, I had another lady who also developed insomnia after her divorce!

Similarly, her dad slept with her during her childhood

So if you are a young parent or know anyone who is a young parent (so you can share with them)

Please don’t sleep with your child…

Allow them to be independent even when such a young age

The childhood years are so crucial for learning and development that it might help grow the child or cause issues in the future

Otherwise… let’s hope I’m still around so if they need help for insomnia, they can come and see me…

Cough

I Can’t Sleep Anywhere Else

This man came to me stating he has insomnia and yet he wasn’t experiencing insomnia now

Rather confusing, but since he is here with me now, I might as well let him share his insomnia issue even though he doesn’t have it now

He shared how his parents, his younger brother and himself shared a room while living in his grandparents place when he was a child

Eventually, his parents got a place and he shared a room with his brother

While the family slept together on the same bed, when they moved to the new place, he and his brother got separate beds

He could sleep rather well, although at times late to sleep, that is all

Fast forward and he got married and he got a place for his wife and kids

That’s when he start to have insomnia

Later on he shared something interesting, that he cannot sleep anywhere else except in his room

He can’t sleep in hotels on holiday even as a child, and he had trouble sleeping during NS too

Anyway, his grandparents passed away, and his parents took over the grandparents’ house

He took his family to stay with his parents in his grandparents’ house

And now, his wife and his elder son is sleeping in the master bedroom, while he and his younger son is sleeping in the same room his family slept in when he was a child

No wonder now he got no insomnia!

Looking back, it seems like a tongue twister…

I apologize but that’s how his story was…

Ahem…

For him, his unconscious mind has created what I called, a conditional anchor

An anchor is usually an external stimulus that invokes an internal response

A fear of cats for example, seeing the cat (visual stimulus) invokes fear (internal response)

And the stimulus can be visual, auditory, kinesthetic, olfactory etc

In particular, for this man, he has 2 stimulus to invoke an internal response – to feel peace, safe, calm etc in order to fall asleep

Which is why I call it a conditional anchor – it has 2 conditions

The first condition might be to sleep with a family member related by blood

The second condition is to sleep in the room he slept in with his family as a child

Which is why he experienced insomnia when he got married and moved out – he was sleeping in a new room and with his wife who isn’t related to him by blood!

However, moving back to his grandparents’ house and sleeping in that same room with his younger son allows him to be able to fall asleep!!

PS. Yes, he need to satisfy both conditions in order to sleep, satisfying only one might cause some sleep disturbance…

I can’t emphasize enough how important the childhood years are although of course, some of these problems and issues are totally unintentional

Anyway, I asked him if he like to travel and he said no, he don’t like to travel

If so, why do you want to resolve an insomnia when you are not having it now?

The way I see it, while we can resolve it, we cannot know for sure it is gone since he isn’t experiencing it now

I rather wait until he has to move to a new place and get the insomnia again, then we do the hypnosis and know how effective it is

On the other hand, if he doesn’t move out anymore, there is no reason to spend money to treat something that doesn’t surface or bother him now right?

Presentation Lee McKing guilt abortion miscarriage

No One Knows Why I Have Insomnia

This lady claims to have insomnia so bad that no one can help her

She has been to multiple doctors and sleep specialists, going through various scans and tests

Besides conventional Western medicine, she has also sought TCM practitioners, and alternative healing such as psychic healing, reiki and more

After so many months and spending so much money, she still has insomnia!

And no one knows why

So she sought my help thinking I might be able to help her

For the record, she did seek out another hypnotherapist too but it didn’t work for her

Why she came to me is because the previous was doing the traditional style, while I do the modern style of hypnosis

It’s something different

As usual, I asked various questions that, at that point in time, might seem weird to her

One such question pull out something interesting

There was a TCM that was effective in helping her to sleep!

But she claimed it was too far and so, she never went back to that one

Then the subsequent TCM practitioners she went to didn’t work at all

I’ll skip sharing the other questions I asked except this one

“When you were a child, did your mom frequently see a doctor or multiple doctors?”

“Yes! My mum had many doctors she will go to, each is specialized in different things. Today she neck pain will go to this doctor, tomorrow she back pain will go to that doctor. Every week at least 2-3 times will see doctor one. How do you know?”

I can joke that I’m psychic but I’m not

You may or may not be able to guess the pattern but you can try!!

If you want to try guessing, don’t continue reading first, but comment in the post your guess

Or share on Facebook then come back and continue

Ok that was a very bad attempt in getting people to share my content

Cause usually people shy shy to share hypnosis stuff la~

Hahahah

Sigh~

Ok la, you read and enjoy and learn something can already

*Nods head repeatedly*

Last chance to guess! (In your mind)

Her pattern is…

< To see multiple doctors for whatever reason >

That’s right!~

I assuming you got it right hehe

Because her mom had this behaviour to see multiple doctors for various reasons, she learnt the same pattern

Just that her mom see doctors for pain issue, while she see doctors for sleep issue

Doctors here is a bit loose though, since she also went to psychic and reiki practitioners who aren’t actual doctors

Neither am I really

Perhaps it might be more accurate to say experts

Regardless, that is the real issue we need to target and solve, not the sleep issue itself

She was puzzled, in fact, she didn’t believe what I said

I told her… it will make sense when you realize… you had a TCM Practitioner that did help to solve your insomnia… but you didn’t want to go back to that person just because it is too far…

It doesn’t make sense that something works but too far so didn’t go again

However, it can make sense if you are running a pattern “to see multiple experts” for an issue!!

On top of that, after seeking conventional Western medicine, and alternative healing practices for so long and no one know why she is having sleep issues makes sense too

Because there isn’t a sleep issue to begin with

It’s the issue of seeking multiple experts or doctors for whatever reason

Like if I ask you to come to my house to find a dog, when a dog doesn’t exist in my house, then you can get 100 people and find for 100 years and still won’t find a dog

Lee McKing pondering about hypnosis

Actually that’s a good metaphor but I didn’t share that with her, only with you

If we are not looking at the correct issue, we will never solve the real issue

To be fair, I don’t blame her for not believing me

The man also didn’t really believe me hahaha

It’s just how weird the mind can be

How queer some of the problems are constructed within

And how a very normal behaviour can potentially be planted into the unconscious mind which might develop into strange, odd, or even negative issues in the future

Why some people develop issues and yet others do not

Then again, I can’t really confirm whether or not a child sleeping with their parents got potential to have no issues

Like, I will say its a possibility, but I have yet to meet such a person

Anyhoo, if you have any questions and want me to share or answer them

Feel free to follow me on Tiktok and ask me a question there so I can create more interesting content for you! 😀

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