The Guilt Of Abortion and Miscarriage

Presentation Lee McKing guilt abortion miscarriage

A lady found herself in a graveyard and she shivered

She looked down at her feet

There was a dead baby there!

She starts crying… sobbing even…

But not in fear…

She cried tears of sadness, regret and guilt…

This was her baby…

She aborted this baby when she was 20 years old

She was too young to have a baby then

She picked up the dead baby, hugging and sobbing

“I’m sorry…”

“Please forgive me…”

“I love you…”

After she sought forgiveness from her dead baby

She buried it and came out of hypnosis

That was what happened during a hypnosis with a lady who was experiencing issues where she felt she doesn’t deserve the love of a child

Ok while that might sound scary, it isn’t what you think

And no, this isn’t an article on ghosts and spirits HAHAAH

It’s an article about pregnancy, miscarriage, abortion or even coming to term

But that might get too long an article so I’ll narrow to just abortion and miscarriage

And narrow even further to possible negative emotional side effects

STOP! Please don’t think I’m against it or telling you not to abort if the situation requires it

Ultimately you and your partner (or parents) have to make the decision based on circumstances

All I’m sharing is for you to know what might happen for your emotions

You could be fine!

And if you aren’t, you can look for me πŸ™‚

So yea you might started out with a bit of anxiety and nervousness

Cause you missed your period

And finally the pregnancy test showed that you are pregnant!

What joy and happiness!

And shock!

Then here we split into a couple of scenarios

You could either want the baby… or don’t want the baby…

You could be an unmarried couple and maybe you don’t want the baby

Or you want the baby so now you got to quickly get married

You could also be a married couple, and you want the baby

Or work life is your focus and you don’t want the baby

Ok that might have been confusing… And tricky…

Here’s a simple flow chart to see what it looks like

For those who decide to keep the baby and safely delivers it, congrats!

It definitely wasn’t easy to get to this stage!

What about if you abort the child…?

Cause it’s just not the right time?

Or what about if you want the child… but there was an accident and a miscarriage?

Recovering from that ain’t easy

Some can do it, some cannot

It’s true

You see, as my speciality is mental health, I do have women who came to me with the issue of living with the guilt, or shame, or blame, or depressed feeling (not necessary depression) or anger or etc that comes with an abortion or miscarriage

The above scenario was one such client, let’s call her Client A, where she felt she didn’t deserve the love of another child and this was only seen years later when she got married and her child was born but for some reason, her son didn’t love her back

And just in case you were wondering, after the hypnosis, that very evening, she texted me saying her son automatically went to her and give a hug and a kiss, which he has never done before

Oh the tears :’)

Another lady, Client B, came to see me after an abortion, as she was feeling guilty and grief over the loss of her child, and in her case, under hypnosis, she manage to make peace with her child and herself

Yet another Client C, after she had a miscarriage, had blame towards herself and her husband, and this creates anger issues that only escalated as the years go by until she even divorced her husband (only then did she came to see me)

So yea, she couldn’t save the marriage cause the divorce proceedings already started

A young girl, Client D, aborted her child (not of her own will according to her) and she went into depression for a few years, believing she is a sinner and do not deserve love and happiness anymore

These are some of the stories I have heard and seen over the years in my practice

There is a key element that I want to share with you

And yea, I know this next step may not be easy to do

Heck, some of us don’t even know how to do it properly!

Why don’t you tell me if you know how to do it or not

McKing-with-female-client-1

The key element for healing is forgiveness

It varies on who you might want to forgive depending on the circumstances since all of us live very unique lives

Forgiveness can help you to heal

And if we use the four clients cases that I briefly shared to illustrate

Client A asked forgiveness from her baby (in her mind under hypnosis) and also forgive herself, although she was not willing to forgive the guy who did it to her when she was 20

Client B saw a boy (also in her mind under hypnosis), perhaps what he might have looked like if she gave birth and cried and hugged him as she asked for forgiveness

So yes, both the above clients sought forgiveness from their unborn child

Client C on the other hand only had to forgive herself and her husband, since she blame herself and her husband for the miscarriage

While Client D had to forgive herself and her parents as she was forced to abort because of her parents

You can see the common theme of forgiving oneself

Why?

Well, if you chose to abort, it was mostly your decision or a combined agreed upon decision, hence there may be some self blame for the abortion

Except for Client D scenario (there may be some who are forced to abort by their parents or partner too) where the self blame is more “not standing up to protect the baby”

Client E for example, fell into depression after she was forced to abort by her boyfriend

As for miscarriage, there is a chance the woman might blame herself for not taking care of herself properly whether it’s nutrition, rest, work etc that cause the miscarriage

Client F for example, blamed herself for a miscarriage due to an incident while on holiday, although most of the blame was going for the holiday, the flight etc which may have caused the issue (this is her belief whether it’s true or not)

Of course, there are people who have gone through an abortion or a miscarriage and are perfectly fine emotionally after that

So if you are reading this article to decide if you should abort your child or not, I will rather advice you to consult with your partner, your doctor or even your parents instead

After all, there are many factors to consider such as age, situation such as rape, finances, relationship status etc etc

Although I must applaud you for wanting to read more before deciding

If you need a third party neutral person to talk to, you can contact me here

Whereas if you are wondering if time can heal this self blame (whether it’s for an abortion or due to a miscarriage), yes it can

However, even for the oldest client C (who ended up divorcing with near adult kids so you can imagine her age), when we were approaching this subject of her miscarriage…

She still wept for the sadness, the self blame, the guilt…

And all I can do for her at that time was hand her a tissue paper, and say “it’s ok”

As well as listen to her story

Time… can heal for some people :’)

And if you are wondering how to forgive and make peace

You could do the usual, conventional ways like having an open non-judgemental chat with your parents or your husband or the ex-boyfriend

You could make peace with the baby through prayers or religion

You could forgive yourself and release the self blame, guilt and sadness

Now if you tried everything you know (or maybe it is very hard to forgive someone like the abusive ex-boyfriend face to face), then you can look for me when you are ready

Until then, stay safe and know that this will soon pass

I promise πŸ™‚

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