Starting A Positive Change

Presentation Lee McKing and positive

It’s the start of the New Year 2021 and boy, is it pouring in Singapore right now

I’m sitting here thinking and writing this as the rain outside pitter patter away

Although I’ll admit, yesterday had a heavier downpour, and the weather was so cold and cosy to lay in bed just a bit longer~~~

Anyway, some people don’t like the rain, and some do

I like the rain… when I’m indoors hahaha

How about you?

Now some people might say “oh how New Year and first thing we get is rain, so moody and depressing”

Yet others might say “oh great, the rain is washing away the past year so we can freshen up for the new year!”

What gives?

Why do we have such differing perspectives?

There could be more, I just put 2 of those down for reference

And that’s the topic for today

We will look into some positive mindset stuff (not all, just a bit)

And how you too can start a positive change in your life (if you need it, or share with a friend who needs it, and if you got this link from your friend, maybe you should read this to the end)

So… What’s a Positive Mindset?

Well first off, there may be slightly differing points of view of what makes a positive mindset

My suggestion (if you are big on this) is to read and take what you feel most comfortable with

Or take everything

Whatever works eh?

Before we go into what’s positive and what’s negative, we have to understand what makes a mind set?

Get it?? Mindset mind set

But I’m partially serious too

What is within us are beliefs, values, attitudes etc with respect to different areas of life such as love, money, career etc

And more often that not, we learn most of it from our parents when we are in childhood

And once we reach teenage years onwards, all this stuff in your mind will start to settle, and it stays there

Hence, your mind will set whatever you learn from your parents, to develop your mindset

This is just a brief, I share a lot more in another article I wrote previously (click this link if you want to know more on mindset)

Now what does this mean for you?

You cannot have a full 100% positive mindset (unless you were brought up in a family that was 100% positive) until you resolve every negative thing in your mind

For example, you can be rich, and have a lot of money easily, but if there is something negative about your love life, then you can “positive” about money and yet “negative” about love

Although I am using the terms of “positive” and “negative” loosely here at the moment, so don’t assume that it’s all black and white, there are shades of grey too

Ok now, we understand what makes a mindset, the next is positive versus negative

The funny thing is… a lot of people misinterpret what is a positive mindset or what is positive thinking…

I’m sorry but you may be one of them too

Let me give an example:

My friend John had a fight with his wife and he decided to tell himself, “It’s ok, things will get better”

Now, can you tell me if that is positive thinking or not?

And please guess it

So at least we know if you are right or not

Have you got it?

Don’t look down for the answer just yet

Until you got the answer~

It’s not positive thinking at all (to me anyway)

To me, it’s what I called a “false positive

Where being positive might put one in a state of denial or lack of action to solve the problem

Heck you can google this if you don’t trust me (although I did touch on this here too)

Lee McKing shrug

So what does it mean to be positive?

Well for John, he could have found another way to communicate with his wife, or figure out what is the root issue of the fight in the first place, he could also seek help with a marriage counsellor or a relationship coach (or anyone really) where he and his wife could address the issues much more clearly and from a third party perspective too

To me, being positive means looking at it from another angle in hopes to find a solution or way around the issue

The “false positive” doesn’t do that does it?

And if John has a negative mindset?

John will find his friends, complain and talk about it, but when his friends offer any advice, he doesn’t listen, say it wouldn’t work, etc

Someone with a negative mindset will be “stuck” in their problems and go in circles

Someone with a “false positive” mindset will be somewhat denying the issue and pretending everything is ok

Someone with a positive mindset will be wanting to find ways to solve the issue

That’s the gist of it so you can understand a bit better

If you reach this far, kudos my friend!

Next, I will share how you can adopt a more positive mindset over time

I wish we got a magic pill to change everything from negative to true positive

Well… hypnosis is one way haha

But I want you to find your own ways too, especially if you are uncomfortable to see me for now

Presentation Lee McKing and cafe hypnosis

So here’s – starting a positive change!

Well, we go back to the rain for a moment

Different people have different perspectives of the rain during the New Year

I want you to just imagine this for me

Don’t worry, it’s nothing much

Just imagine a picture in front of you, a picture of the rain

Or imagine the rain outside your window

Heck better yet, if it’s raining right now, take a picture with your phone!

Now I want you to imagine that picture of the rain is in a particular photo frame (or edit it if you manage to get a shot)

And in that frame, what does the picture feel like?

You need help with what kind of frame?

Ok imagine a black frame, simple black frame

What does the picture feel like?

Now I want you to edit the frame to another frame, maybe a golden ornate frame

Now what does this new image look and feel like to you?

In fact, I’m curious whether you notice the picture seems to change a bit?

You could even play a third frame and see what happens!

Now you might be asking me, what’s all this about eh?

This is to show you something called reframing

Yea literally just changing the photo frames right?

And yet that gives you a different emotion or thought when you look at the same picture

That’s one step towards being positive

Being able to look at the same situation but through a different perspective can help you feel different emotions, have different thoughts and insights, and allow you new ways to find new and different solutions

Just like John, he could attempt to look into what is causing the fight in the first place, but if he couldn’t, he can seek help from a third party to work with his wife on how to resolve the issues

As long as he is willing to listen of course

Please don’t ask me what if the wife isn’t willing to listen… that’s the wife’s problem (then yea the wife will need to read this article to open her eyes to realizing she might have a negative mindset about relationship, family, love, marriage, etc)

Anyway~

Another way to look from a different perspective, is through another person’s shoes

Before you judge a manwalk a mile in his shoes

Billy Connolly

So John can imagine he was his wife throughout the day and attempt to figure out what happen prior to the argument when he got home (or if it was a weekend, what happened that could have made her angry)

Of course, this quote doesn’t just guide you to do this, this quote also talks about having and practicing empathy with others

One last thing I can share with you

There are choices to everything

Which means there are solutions to any issue too

Whether you like the solution or not, that’s another thing

But having the awareness that there are solutions is so much better than the guy (or girl) who denies as if there are no issues and pretend to be happy

Then they are just lying to themselves

That’s about it

Just a quick sharing to guide you on the way to having a positive change in your life

Be it career, business, money, love, etc

Now what will you do?

I’m just curious but you don’t have to tell me I suppose

Which aspect do you want to improve upon first and foremost?

And remember, you can be positive in one aspect yet negative in another

So ideally, you work through all the aspects ok?

Til next time, take care, stay safe, and keep an open mind! 😀

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