A lot of people celebrate Valentine’s Day as a day of love
And of course, they usually do it annually
So they celebrate a day of love, once a year
I’m not sure if you see the irony behind it at the moment
I am in a beautiful relationship for 1 year and 3 months as of this post
And things are going amazingly well
I believe everyday is Valentine’s Day if you are with someone you truly love!
We have great chemistry, happiness and love
We also have excellent communication, connection and bonding
So, what gives?
Is this a rare case of a special love?
No… I don’t think so
Both of us put a lot of effort and work into this relationship
Because we want it to work!
So here are some tips for staying in the relationship and making it work well 🙂
- Be honest with each other
- When we started dating, I shared how honesty was my top value and priority. Essentially, I will always be honest with her and that I will like the same from her, although I don’t expect it all the time. I will also naturally wait until she’s ready to share, as perhaps she might be uncomfortable to share something now, but ok to share as time passes.
- Respect each other
- Surprisingly, not a lot of couples do this. When I say respect each other, i mean it a number of ways. For example, I respect her views and privacy, hence, we can have a discussion about something, and if I see her point and where she is coming from, I won’t go into an argument about it. Also, I respect if she feels like she needs some alone time. We are both introverts! So once a while, an introvert in a relationship might want some “me-time” to recharge, recollect thoughts, and re-energise. I’ve told her before that if she wants some alone time, just let me know and I will step back, no questions asked.
- Be present
- What I mean by being present, is that when you are together with your loved one, be there with them not just on the physical aspect, but also on the emotional and intellectual aspect. I’ve seen many couples at the table in a restaurant or cafe and instead of being present with each other and communicating, they are on their phones. If both are on their phones, that’s not good, but if one is on their phone, that isn’t good either. Imagine how your partner might feel, ranging from irritated to sadness, when you are constantly on your phone and not communicating or present with them. My girlfriend and I seldom go on our phones when we are together, it does happen sometimes of course, due to texts from friends, work, etc and if it’s necessary, let your partner know! I let her know it’s from my client, yet attempt to settle it fast if possible so I can get back to what’s important, spending time with her.
- Be understanding
- Be understanding of each other and their circumstances, literally in everything possible. For example, the issue of not being present in point 3, can be reduced if she is understanding towards me after I did the above. Adding to point 2, if she needs some alone time, I understand where she’s coming from and give her the space, no questions asked. This reduces potential arguments, and builds a stronger relationship together.
- Accommodate each other
- We only have 24 hours in a day and in any relationship, I understand how you might want to meet and see and chat with each other. Do understand that the time has to split between work, friends, personal and relationship (some might have a health component too). Plan your activities around each other’s schedules and things will work out, if you do find it hard to fit each other, be understanding of the situation (Point 4) especially if one is super busy (although i also understand if you start to have doubts about the relationship working out). I know it’s a bit easier for me as I can plan my clients time and my relationship time, allowing me to travel to her workplace to meet her and stuff. Now imagine if both of you are equally busy and yet able to plan such that you can still meet, how awesome would that be? Planning your activities and schedules is key.
- Trust each other
- Admittedly, this is easy to say, yet hard to do. It’s tricky especially if your trust is broken before by your ex. Trust is something that’s slow to build, and fast to be destroyed. I know this, so I take my time to build her trust in me, and always remember one thing – never break her trust in me. That’s for you to think about too. In fact, adding on top of point 1 honesty, being honest with each other can build trust too. And yes, I understand if you are afraid of being too honest that you open yourself up to being vulnerable, to potential hurts and pains. Take your time, and if you are uncomfortable with sharing something for now, be honest about that too. You can get there eventually.
- Say what you mean, mean what you say
- You have no idea how failing to do this has hurt your partner and your relationship. Essentially, you can also see this as making a promise, and doing it. This can build or break trust (point 6). Thankfully I managed to do this pretty well, although there might have been a couple of times where I didn’t manage to do it (she keeps the score). By the way, this is also a great tip for the future to handle your kids… if you do decide to raise a family.
Hey, I didn’t say it’ll be easy haha
Both of us really put the time and effort and work into the relationship
For example, we initially planned a trip to Jeju!
We discussed and thought things through, before booking our flights and hotel
We even sat together to plan our itinerary together! 😀
We were so looking forward to it!!
Then coronavirus COVID-19 came and now we got to cancel the trip :/
Naturally we are disappointed but we got to move on with life
We are also both hoping and praying the medical staff are doing well in taking care of their health, as well as the health of the patients
Not just in Singapore, but the whole world
And that the higher ups are able to create a vaccine or cure soon!
Anyway, I digress
Personally I did all these to keep a happy loving relationship 🙂
In fact, here’s an extra tip for reading until here!
*Keep the romance burning!*
- A lot of guys stop the romantic stuff once they get into a relationship, and this can indirectly strain the relationship in the future. Although some girls may not like romance, that’s true, but you (if you are a guy) need to know whether she likes it or not first. Understanding your love language, as well as your partner’s, will be extremely useful here.
Seriously, don’t just celebrate one day of romance and leave the rest of the year empty
That can break hearts and relationships
I do hope my personal relationship tips help you out!
And here’s wishing you a happy relationship and an awesome Valentine’s Day!
Any comments if you agree or disagree?
What are your tips for a happy healthy relationship?
Share with us! 😀