Ok how to persuade someone is a topic I rarely talk about
Because I don’t want people to use persuasion for the wrong intentions
Please only read this if you intend to use such persuasion to influence people for good, such as persuading them to change for the better
Anyway, there are easily 101 persuasion methods and techniques (Ok maybe I exaggerate a bit but still quite a lot!!)
So naturally, I won’t be covering all of them today
In fact I’m just thinking to share one… path… of persuasion…
And if you already saw the title…
It involves you reading them first and then persuading them
*FINAL WARNING*
Stop reading if you don’t have intentions to help people
I mean it!
How To Read A Person Before You Persuade?
So for this method, I’ll be sharing about the VAK understanding of people
And from there, how to persuade or influence them accordingly
Naturally, persuasion is an art (with a touch of science) but mainly art
So it takes practice and time
And that’s also assuming you are able to do it without seemingly robotic XD
Anyway, before you learn to persuade someone, you got to know them first
So learn the VAK well!
The VAK is essentially a learning style preference for people in general
However, because they tend to prefer a certain style to learn something, it also means they prefer to receive the information in that similar format
Which is why we can use this concept for persuasion~
Also, to make it easy to read, I’m just putting some information, not all ok?
Lastly, since everyone is different, you might find a visual person might not be doing all the visual traits that I illustrate here
The more you can read a person, the better you can get when you want to persuade someone
Alright, let’s get into it~
Visual People
Visual learners or people are visual, so they gather information through their eyes
In that sense, you can tell someone is visual when they prefer to read text, look at design, are particular about certain colors etc
Thus, they might have a good fashion sense
Here’s something interesting about visual people
Essentially, as long as they can see you, that’s close enough, and that means that there is a certain distance or boundary from them which you cannot cross
If you step into that distance or boundary, they will instinctively (or consciously) take a step or two away from you!
Unless you both are seated…
They don’t usually like people to touch them especially if you are complete strangers, so don’t touch them on the arm or hand when you are chatting with them, and don’t touch them on the shoulders or back either
Supposedly they breathe from the top of their lungs, but this might be harder to pick up on too anyway (I don’t really look out for this)
There will be a tendency for them to use visual words when conversing and they tend to see pictures in their mind
How To Persuade A Visual Person
As mentioned above, avoid touching them or going into their space too often
This might put them off before you even get started XD
Have visual aids, whether its in text form or in graphs or pictures
As well as use more visual words such as “look at this”, “imagine this”, “I see where you are going”, “visualize” or “examine“
And keep your words (or speech) short and concise but the presentation can have text and more information
Offer a brochure or pamphlet for them to read if you can
However, they generally prefer texting on Whatsapp or Telegram as compared to a phone call
Let them analyze and process as they will
Let’s say you are selling a refrigerator to a visual person
“Alright look at this beautiful model, as you can see inside it has a huge space for you to put your groceries. If you imagine here you got your meats, and here your fruits and vegetables, and we got a nice section here for your milk. Shall I pass you an information sheet about this particular model? I can pass you both for models A and B so you can have a read through and compare which you want”
Auditory People
Auditory learners or people are auditory, so they gather information through listening with their ears
Which means, you can tell someone is an auditory person when they prefer to listen to what you are saying, or need you to say (so they don’t have to read)
They might be easily distracted by sounds and noises, or enjoy listening to music if they have to read or do something
Here’s something interesting about auditory people
Because they want to listen to you when you speak, there is a certain tendency for them to lean their head or tilt their head towards you, nodding as you speak
They might need to repeat what you said or speak things out in order to process their thoughts
If you are seated, you might find they might even turn so that their ears are angled towards you!
They breathe from the middle of their chest, but this might not be easy to spot as well (as mentioned before, I don’t look for such things cause… I have to look at the chest… please don’t do this)
They have a tendency to use auditory words, or add sounds and noises when conversing
How To Persuade An Auditory Person
Similar to visual people, they are not too keen on touch, but they are not avoidant of it either
They don’t like to read if possible, so they prefer conversing whether face to face, on a call, or a voice message
You can use more auditory words such as “call me”, “listen to this”, “I hear you loud and clear“, “discuss” or “articulate“
You can talk a lot more, and ask some questions to have them converse too cause they might enjoy themselves talking quite a bit
They might enjoy a bit of a story too, especially if you add sound effects
Let’s say you are selling a refrigerator to an auditory person
“Alright let’s hear what this model has to offer, just listen to how quiet it is when it opens for you to put your groceries inside. May I bring your attention to the trays, most people don’t know how to use them properly, you can take them out and gently push them in place until you hear the click and it’s locked. And as usual, don’t bang the door shut if you want it to last longer. Shall we discuss the payment plans that are suitable for your family?”
Kinesthetic People
Kinesthetic learners or people are kinesthetic, which means they are tactile, based on how they feel whether emotionally or physically
So they are people who like to touch and handle things, very hands-on people
And because they are based of their emotions, they can do things better when they feel like doing it, or feel good about something
Which also means if they don’t feel good or don’t feel like doing something, they won’t or it’s much harder for them to do it, delaying the task
Here’s something interesting about kinesthetic people
Because they are tactile, they tend to have hand gestures as they speak, and sometimes their hands will automatically reach towards you and tap you lightly on the hand, wrist or arms, and some might touch you on the shoulders or back too
They also tend to step closer towards you, going into your personal space
They breathe from the bottom of their chest, and this might be the more noticeable of the three (but yea, I don’t spot for this as mentioned previously)
Kinesthetic people have a tendency to use kinesthetic words as they speak, mainly of tactile or emotions, based on how they feel
How To Persuade An Kinesthetic Person
As you probably realized by now, these are the people who tend to touch your arm as they converse, so they are comfortable if you step nearer to them in their personal space, and give the occasional tap on the arm
They too don’t like to read if possible, and they prefer a meet up face to face (they are not keen on zoom calls)
You can use more kinesthetic words which is either tactile or emotion or even movement, such as “get a feel of this”, “are you happy with this arrangement?”, “I sense where you are coming from”, “hunch” or “flow“
You can talk slower, to let them get the sense of things, and check on their feelings or sensations once a while to validate them or know when to change topic or stop if they don’t feel good about it
They might enjoy acting out the scenario (if it gels with the situation of course)
Let’s say you are selling a refrigerator to an kinesthetic person
“Alright let’s try out this model, go ahead, open it and notice how it feels like as it opens. Pretty smooth right? Imagine how it feels like to have this model in your kitchen, and you open it and how easy it is to move the trays and take the food out to cook. In fact, put your hand in there and feel the aircon blast, powerful chill for your food and drink! Do you drink? Then you will love the cold beer that comes out of this model! If you feeling good about this and I can see you smiling and happy, shall we look at the breakdown of the costs by installment?”
Bonus Tip
After learning all this and knowing how to read people a bit better, now I have a tip for you
You see, you will find yourself inclined to one of these as well!
Unless you are seasoned already hahaha
In which case, you can consider to adapt and change yourself, modify until you are able to either do all 3 smoothly OR do all 3 at the same time
So what happens is that you either learn to change mode when you read which preference are they, or you incorporate all 3 and just tweak accordingly throughout the conversation
After all, if you are selling a refrigerator to a customer, more likely you got to talk to a couple at the same time!
And they might have a different preference for your delivery too
Hahahahaah
Well of course, if you incorporate all 3 styles during your presentation or conversation, then you no need to know what they are too
Depends on what you want to do with it I suppose
Naturally, practice makes perfect!
So if you want to, start small with reading your friends and family
And start small with speaking to them to begin to persuade for a small task
That might get the confidence rolling (especially if you don’t usually persuade someone to buy a product from you)
Share with us which are you? And how you are going to implement the above?
And I’ll see you next time š
