How To Forgive Yourself To Heal

tldr: When you can forgive yourself with this self forgiveness process, you can heal a majority of issues and finally be free

2025 is coming to an end and it is time to look at ourselves as 2026 arrives

A time for reflection, healing, and letting go

Yes, we can also just look at the happiness and joys of the past year

And yet, being able to heal can also allow ourselves to have a better New Year isn’t it?

But why is it important to forgive oneself?

If there is anything to learn today, its to recognize how you might be hurting yourself without knowing it

How do we hurt ourselves?

You may or may not realize this but yes, we unconscious hurt ourselves in various ways

And this happens via two main ways

The first when we carry negative emotions towards other people

While the second is when we hold onto our regrets or limiting beliefs

Now just think along with me for a moment

Imagine you have anger issues towards one of your parents due to whatever childhood trauma you had

How might that hurt you?

You are hurting yourself by continuing to carry that anger, especially if your parent is making progress to heal the relationship

Hurt people hurt people

In another example, if you still hate or fear a bully from your past who is no longer in your life

You are carrying that hate or fear with you, and thus, continue to hurt yourself in this manner

And because like attracts like, you might get into situations that generate more of that negative emotion

Which also fits for regrets and limiting beliefs

There are all sorts of regrets and some of them might cause one to believe they must suffer for whatever reason

Like a punishment

Say having a regret about not spending enough time with loved ones before they passed on

Or a regret about doing a bad thing

Limiting beliefs are beliefs that hold you back, limit you, hinder you etc

And some of those limiting beliefs can also be highly damaging

A limiting belief of low self esteem might seem “ok”

But someone with a belief that they must suffer if they abort a fetus is definitely not ok

All in all, they might create or seek situations or events to suffer more, to get punished for something

Why we forgive ourselves

A number of the above can only be released through a forgiveness process

That’s the power of forgiveness

Only when we forgive ourselves for those actions, thoughts, emotions etc

To forgive is to release all the things we said or do that cause our own hurt and pain

As well as any regrets or mistakes

And by releasing such negative stuff, can we truly heal

It’s not just the negative emotions that we can forgive

It is also the negative behaviors, habits and patterns if any

In a way, forgiveness can also be considered a form of detachment

And in Buddhism, all suffering is created from attachment and self-choice

Of course, that also expands into positive stuff

Like wanting to be happy means that when you are not happy, you might feel sad, frustrated or similar

In fact I just had a chat with a client about her wanting and chasing happiness, yet because she isn’t happy now, she get more stressed and frustrated about it

But anyway, back to the focus on healing from negativity through forgiveness and release

Forgiving ourselves from past to the present will release all the negative stuff within (or as much as possible)

And thus heal ourselves

This idea of forgiveness doesn’t have to come from love by the way

It can, but it doesn’t have to

At most it is loving yourself

There is, however, a certain level of letting go of the ego though if you ask me

Wanting to be free, wanting to heal

Understanding that there may not always be answers yet letting go anyway

That is forgiveness

How do we forgive ourselves?

You know what, save this article and come back to it whenever you want to

While it might be great to forgive yourself for everything, it is understandable to go bit by bit

And yes, you may want to prepare tissues

Just in case

Anyway, you can get some writing materials or use your phone to type

Just follow this simple 6 step self forgiveness process

1. Write down as many things you want to forgive yourself for
2. Look through the list and start with the smallest (or biggest if you are feeling up for it)
3. Focus within, connecting with that inner love and forgiveness
4. Talk about the thing you are forgiving yourself for, share reasons why like its been so long, time to move on, or that it is hurting you far more than helping etc
5. Allow the love and forgiveness to push it out of you as you forgive yourself for it
6. Repeat with each other thing you are ready to forgive yourself for, or clean face with tissues and call it a day

That’s it

I do this myself, except I do it in my mind, instead of writing down

And well, I can do some self-hypnosis too so that is faster

However, the above process can still work pretty well

Of course, if you worked with me and did a self forgiveness hypnosis process before then you might recognize a couple of elements here too

But because I want a majority of people to heal, a slightly more conscious way will help a lot

And this is already much better than not knowing how to forgive at all

A couple questions on forgiveness and… a Happy New Year

I know what you are thinking, what if it doesn’t work?

Well, maybe you are tackling too big an issue, or you are not ready to handle it yet

So you can go to another thing on your list to forgive

That’s perfectly fine

Remember to cross the item off the list once you have completely released it!

Now here is another question you might have

What if you manage to forgive some of an item, but some of it is still remaining?

That’s fine too, make a note on your list if you need to, and come back to it another day

Sometimes, releasing some stuff from your bag so that you feel lighter will allow you to have fresh eyes and see a different perspective

And you can release it next time~

Anyway, if you have any other questions about this process, feel free to tap the purple button on your right and chat with me here

Hope this will help you to have a fresh start to 2026!

Here’s wishing you a Happy New Year and may this 2026 bring you peace, love and happiness~

Chat soon! 😀