*Blink blink* and it’s nearly the end of 2022, and to align with Christmas, I want to focus on a couple of important things today
To be honest, thinking for this particular article was a bit tricky this time round
I had a lot to think about
My mom had a stroke a few months ago and although she is fine now
It made me realize a few things and that’s why I want to pen down my thoughts
Anyway, let’s get into the 3 things I want to share with you before the year 2022 ends
1. Self Love
Some people have heard of self love before, and some people haven’t
And there are some who know what is self love and how to self love
But there are others who have no idea what is it nor how to do it
Briefly, to me, self love is an appreciation and care towards oneself, whether its physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual health
More importantly!!
Self love is not to cause hurt or harm to oneself, or allow it to continue to happen
So please don’t sacrifice yourself for other people, especially if they don’t appreciate it, or they even take advantage of it
Some people might confuse self love with being selfish, or even being self centered
Being selfish has an additional aspect of lacking consideration or care for other people while only thinking for oneself
While being self centered is an excessive emphasis on oneself
Self love is a balancing act between caring for yourself while caring for other people
Like if you work in a job that has messy timings and your mealtimes are chaotic, you need to take a step back and look at your job whether its good for you or not, or how can you adjust your schedules such that your mealtimes are more proper, or even more, in the meals itself whether its healthy for you or not
This is a form of self love which people tend to forget
That is important to differentiate!
Some people think that self love is treating oneself through spa, or retail therapy
Honestly, I feel that isn’t quite right, unless you already explored the job issue and found that you can’t change the job, nor can you adjust your schedules, nor can you eat healthily, hence you have no choice but to spend money on spa and retail therapy…
Just be aware that in this case scenario, the physical health will suffer in the long term
Having a work-life balance is one thing, but having healthy relationships is also key
Whether its family relationships or a lover relationship
Here’s another interesting fact
Every problem has a solution, maybe more!
It’s true, although I agree that you might not like some of the possible solutions haha
If you are in an abusive relationship, leaving the relationship is an option or potential solution (even if you don’t like the idea very much)
Seeking therapy or counselling is another solution or option, can be for both parties in this case
Whichever option you decide to pick, focus on the self love idea before taking into consideration other people
Let’s say you are married with kids, and you are being abused, and you might be thinking divorce can’t be an option because what about the kids?
Weighing the idea of the kids having both parents, or the idea that the kids might be abused by the other parent in the future, isn’t easy to decide
That’s where therapy or counselling might be good options too, to protect the future of the kids from potential abuse
All in all, self love is ensuring you are healthy and well in various aspects, of physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual
And yes, you can slowly work towards this
Being aware first can help already
2. Being Present
Oftentimes, people don’t know how to be present, or can’t be present in the situation
Because there are a lot of things to think about in the future – which creates anxiety
Or there are things in the past which they cannot let go – which can hold one back a lot, potentially creating depression, grief, and more
Of course, being present doesn’t automatically solve the issue of anxiety or depression (if you have them) but it can help reduce their hold on you
This is similar to the state of mindfulness
Although you don’t have to practice mindfulness meditation to do this
An important idea is to be aware of what you are doing in this moment
What are you doing, what are you feeling, which body part is feeling this or that?
For example, as I am typing this, I can feel a slight pressure under my right foot, my skin is being taut tight there as my right foot rests on the floor, so I will move my foot to ease the tension there
Of course, mine is a little extreme since I can sense everything happening within my body
You don’t have to do so much, but having a state of awareness and being present in the situation will start to shift your mind towards a more wholesome state
Because it means when you are in a happy situation, you can enjoy it fully!
When it is time to be sad, you can experience that sadness too, and it’s ok
The more we practice this, the better we get to shift ourselves into a better state, if and when we want to
Like the thing I did earlier
When I was younger and still suffering from my post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I didn’t know about this yet
And so I was “stuck” in the toilet looking and feeling miserable
Until at least 30-40 minutes before I decide to wash my face and I felt better
Imagine if I knew about this earlier, I could have change my state faster by washing my face, and thus recover faster too
Well, recover faster from the PTSD each time it happens, not the PTSD as a whole
That requires a proper therapy (something important to think about)
So if you are having a cup of coffee, enjoy the coffee
Or if you are eating an apple, enjoy the crunch and sweetness
Enjoy the moments as they come
That is being present
3. Appreciate Your Loved Ones
This is something that is sometimes forgotten
And this isn’t just spending time with them, or going travelling with them
It’s simple care and concern for them that is good enough
Of course, depending on whether your loved ones are your parents, or your partner, or your children, your friends etc
Each one will have slightly different things you can care and do for them
You cannot take them for granted
Super important to realize if you haven’t realized it yet
You cannot take your children for granted, thinking that no matter how much you scold or beat them, they will take care of you in the future
Nor your parents, thinking they will always protect you and give you things if you need them
You cannot take your lover for granted, thinking they will stick with you no matter how you treat them
Nor your friends, thinking they will always be there for you regardless of circumstances
Well, I won’t be going into all the possible details and scenarios cause later too boring ha…
But you get the picture
Because you never know when something might happen to someone
Of course, I’m not saying to go all in and excessively care for your loved ones
No, that will be too much for anyone
But if you realize you haven’t been caring for them, then do spare a thought for them
How important it is to appreciate your loved ones, to care for them
To Sum Up
I don’t just want to remind everyone to end the year on a positive note
But also to have these focus points throughout daily living
You can’t just set up a resolution as a goal but don’t take the actions towards it right?
Alright, I just finished my clients for today (yes even on an Eve) as well as this blog article
I’m going to grab my dinner and have a cup of coffee to enjoy the night~
Here’s wishing you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year as 2023 is round the corner
Thank you for being with me and see you soon~
