A Story Of Loss And Grief

lee mcking nordic

Today I write about something close to my heart

Today I write about something from the past

Today is my father’s death anniversary

It’s a story of great loss and grief

And part of a story of strength and life

Many years ago, on the night of his passing

My dad and I were watching late night shows on TV

And it got really late and I yawned multiple times

He noticed and told me to go to sleep

My family usually hug each other good night and that’s what he did

After that, I went to bed and slept

I woke quite suddenly to my mum’s shaking and calling

“Your daddy just passed away”

I was in shock

I couldn’t move

“Quickly get up and bath and change clothes”

“For what?” I asked

“We have to go out later…”

I got up and crept outside to the sight of my dad on the floor


I was so shocked, I didn’t know what to do…

I just stood there, memories flashing

Tears flowing

Just last night, we hugged good night

And now he was gone…

During the wake, I was in a state of disbelief

lee mcking grey

Yes the facts were right in front of my eyes 

Yet I could not believe it

This led me to keep my grief from his sudden death inside my mind and heart

My results dwindled down

I didn’t study at all

I had “no mood”

I was in a state of denial

I escaped from reality by playing games

Before I knew it, time flew so fast

And little did I know until much later that I was in depression

Back then, I didn’t know and did not seek help

I suffered miserably during that time

And now, I am sharing because it is his anniversary

And a reminder to myself

That yes he is dead, and I am still alive

And learning my skills has enabled me to overcome that loss and grief

It has enabled me to find an inner strength

It has enabled me to grow and learn

One of the key, was to seek help and not suffer in silence

I suffered in silence and it was a miserable number of years, believe you me

My version of seeking help was to spend thousands of dollars on education and training and courses

Namely Neuro Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy

And subsequently using such skills to help myself

Naturally it worked very well

Just need a lot of time, effort and money

Now I don’t know if this will mean anything to you

But if you know someone suffering in silence

Unable to overcome loss and grief

And just feeling sad or “no mood” everyday

Whether you know someone or you too, find some similarities

Seek help

At least find a friend to talk to

And if you need to

Or can’t find anyone

You can talk to me

My dad taught me many things

And I’m sure yours did too

So you know what to do, don’t you?

Thanks dad for everything

lee mcking black

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